Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

In the third gender-swapped episode of Adventure Time, Fionna and Cake take a backseat to the supremely important savior of candy-king: Lumpy Space Prince. I mean, holy shit — have you seen his eyes? Those things are like crystal mirrors of flawless beauty. I was even hoping that watching this episode would make LSP real, but all that happened was a possum came out of a bush and attacked me.

On a more serious note, I was kind of disappointed that LSP dominated this episode so much. I love these gender-bending episodes specifically because Fiona and Cake kick ass. She is a no-nonsense young woman who isn't defined by the men in her life. And in this episode, Fiona became an empty-headed little girl who only exists to be on LSP's arm.

Knowing Pendleton Ward and the AT writers, though, I feel like this was done on purpose as a deconstruction of the trope. By showing what a bad story Lumpy Space Princess managed to write, this episode showed that all similar stories are just as ridiculous. Then again, if those choices weren't on purpose, then this was just kind of a meh episode. Regardless, it made for some amazing screenshots, so at least there's that.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

The episode starts, as many people predicted, with Lumpy Space Princess hijacking the Ice King's original characters. As it turned out, she also hijacked the Ice King to be Fiona and Cake's dad.

Anyway, the story begins by introducing us to the illustrious Lumpy Space Prince (voiced by Peter Serafinowicz), being a true altruist by clobbering his subjects with golden sandwiches. Then his parents enter the picture and LSP's day is ruined. I mean, they just want him to be a monster! But our brave hero resists, even suffering eviction from his home as a result.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

Arriving on the planet Ooo, LSP's regal aura attracts a loyal cadre of animal followers. They stare in awe at their new leader, jumping to do as he asks with the promise of pets. They get some "proper" clothes for him and capture some servants to tend to his other needs. Flame Prince, Turtle Prince, Prince Gumball, and Marshall Lee all fall into line (and shackles) — but at least they get to serve the best ruler possible.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

Finally Fiona and Cake show up, slapping LSP's animal minions away with reckless abandon. And with a single slash with her new sword, Fiona frees the captives. Also, Cake tells a squirrel and a bunny to "dance, puppies," which is a great thing to say to any forest critter.

LSP rightly freaks out, but is immediately intrigued by the rowdy innocence of Fiona. Meanwhile, Fiona is pretty indifferent to the Prince and his freaky clothes. Yet, despite the apparent slight, it's exactly what LSP wanted to hear. It even inspires him to adopt the peasant girl's manner of dress — and looked quite gloriously grungy in doing so.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

PAUSE! Everyone stop to admire the glory of this screenshot. Few shows ever attain this level of anime eyes and water-marked-sky faces. Also, there's dancing. Ok, we can resume now.

Anyway, the teaching begins splendidly. LSP learns to be free, inviting Fiona to waltz while Cake wonders about what's going on in the sky. But it's just too much! Fiona can't handle how pretty LSP is (typical). The two can't ever be wed, though, as LSP is quick to point out. After all, he can only be with someone who is his equal. I WONDER WHOM THAT MIGHT BE?!

But Fiona still doesn't care. Man, she just wants to hang out with LSP and have a good time. And what's the best way to hang out? Making sandwiches (but not even the gold kind).

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

With a single bite of his rustic sandwich, an epiphany overcomes LSP. Why are the needs of everyone else so important? What about what he big lump needs? The joy of his realization forces him to chuck a baby, burst into a bubbly song, and get carried around by who I think is Prince Gumball's version of The Morrow.

Once the song is finished, Lumpy Space Prince realizes that what he wants is to be Fiona, exactly — meaning he needs Cake as a pet (which she's cool with). But almost immediately after this life changing decision, LSP's parents crash the scene. They're horrible, massive, and can shoot black lightning(?).

The trio of LSP, Fiona, and Cake try their best to stand against the lumpy abomination, but it can't be done. Being a beautiful dandy isn't enough, even if you have a sword at the same time. At least LSP made Fiona proud, though.

Except, he didn't. In fact, she still doesn't care — about anything actually. And that turned out to be the key all along. The Lumpy Space Prince just needs to stop caring.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

Endowed with the power of apathy, LSP can't be stopped. Awesome waves of pure force rebuff the King and Queen of Lumpy Space. And thus did LSP repeatedly rock on, not caring his parents into total submission. Fiona even transforms her sword into a microphone so that LSP can drop it after shredding his parents to pieces. Also he blew them up as soon as they stopped being monsters. You'll find the bad ass visual evidence below.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

With the day saved, LSP offers Fiona and Cake a chance to buy him dinner. It's a magical moment — possibly magical enough for him to break through the confines of his story and enter Lumpy Space Princess' reality!

Back in the real world, a bush starts to shake as a countdown signals the arrival of LSPrince. LSPrincess and Ice King eagerly await the arrival of the world's best character.

Lumpy Space Princess Writes Awful Fan-Fiction, And It's Fantastic

But then it turns out to be a rabid possum. It turns out reading LSP's story just summons the wrong thing. At least Ice King traps the critter in his pants.

Additional musings

  • Since it's another non-cannon episode, I only have one pertinent though: I hope the possum manages to sneak into a future episode. It would be one of the best callbacks in the series. If he saves the day, all the better.
  • I lied — I have another thought. The next gender-swap episode better be about Flame Prince. That's a guy I want to get to know. Also I want Fiona and Cake to go back to their ass-kickery.
What's really weird about this episode is I wasn't that happy about it the first time around. But in writing this recap, I ended up liking it a lot more. It was far from enough of the Fiona and Cake we all love, but Lumpy Space Prince turned out to be pretty awesome in his own special way. It's an awful kind of special, but special nonetheless.